


just for tonight

by littlepil



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Past Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlepil/pseuds/littlepil
Summary: it has been a very long week, so just for that night Minseok and Jongdae decided to forget about the past and live the present. But, did they really forget?
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	just for tonight

You could say that Jongdae and Minseok had been friends since almost forever. Their families were friends so they practically grew up together, they lived at the same block and also went to the same school. And even though they developed different interests they’ll always stick together, Minseok would always make sure that the youngest of the two was ok, he would try to protect him from everything and everyone, and help him in every way it’s possible. 

Jongdae didn't actually knew what was the meaning of 'being in love' he just knew that when he looked at Minseok he felt something warm inside, that he loved the way Minseok would make him smile even tho he was having the worst day, he just had clear that if Minseok loved him everything was okay. 

That's why when he found the number and the number turned out that it was still being _his number_ he got happy. He forgot about the broken hearts and the nights where he cried until he fell asleep. 

It was him again!, _the love of his life_. 

All the ugly memories were put on a side and he focused on the happy ones, he focused on the way he made him feel when they were together and how much he was missing him. How much he needed him.

So, he invited him over. No one of them mentioned the past, how things ended horribly months ago. It didn't matter. Not in this moment.

He didn't say anything, the instant the older walked through the door Jongdae ran to his arms, he kissed the other's lips, touched the skin in need and the other kissed back, touched back.

Jongdae didn't care that Minseok had marks on his neck or chest, he was there now. With him.

No one else mattered. Just the two of them.

They are the only who mattered.

The only who always mattered. Back again. 

"Dae" the voice spoke, breaking the space between them "Are you sure you are okay with this?" 

he nodded, caressing his cheek 

"I want this. _I_ _want you_ _Minseok_ "

The black haired smiled at him and pressed the lips back together.

Jongdae felt like he was floating, he felt the warmth inside.

He felt loved again. 

  
\---

Jongdae woke up to an empty bed, he was ready to get mad when he noticed the other’s clothes were still on the floor and he smelled coffee on the hair. He puts his slippers on quickly and goes to the kitchen, he lets out a deep breath; he was still there, with messy hair, tank top and serving himself some coffee. Just like in the good old times.

"Morning there" the man says "Pure black?”

"Yes please" he smiles and takes seat, the shorter hands him a cup. He thought he could see a spark of hope but it all went down when he noticed Minseok smiling at his phone "What happened?"

"Sehunnie just sent me the cutest pic ever"

Ah. Him.

"Ah, cool"

"I swear I don't know how he does it, he's the cutest person ever but he is so damn hot at the same time" 

"You guys are together?" the shorter nods taking a sip of coffee. "Ah,I see that you still keep the tradition of cheating on your boyfriends. How nice”

"I didn't cheat on him"

scoffs "Oh no sure, what we did last night was an hallucination of mine"

"I didn’t say that. The relationship we have is different” the brunette raises an eyebrow, he sighs “We have an open relationship you could say”

Jongdae frowns "So what, you just let random guys fuck him like if it's nothing?"

shurgs "It's just sex, there’s no love in it. They can have his ass for a night but I can have all of him everyday" smiles

"Are you hearing yourself? That's disgusting"

"It's something consensual between the two of us. I don't see a problem" there's a silence, Minseok bites his lips “I have been considering monogamy lately tho"

chuckles "Oh so you are going to take things seriously after cheating on him with me? How thoughtful"

"I didn't cheat, we-"

"Yeah, yeah, open relationship. I know” sighs “We'll see how much that can last for you"

"Okay, what the fuck is your problem?"

"No. What the fuck is **_your_ **problem? What? Fucking a younger boy didn’t bring enough extasis for you that you have to mess with other people too?"

"Please, you know he’s only two years younger than you”

"Oh so he’s finally done with college now?”

“He is a dancer it takes mo-”

“Ah I bet he can satisfy your needs very well then”

The older shrugs, there’s a silence. Minseok swears he heard a sob from the younger but when he looked at him, Jongdae turned to the other side.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing I-” he evades Minseok’s eyes “I don’t know after last night… I thought that maybe we-” sighs “Forget it. It was stupid of me to think that.”

his voice became softer “Dae... you know I’m with Hun”

“You were with me when you started to be with him” words came in almost a whisper.

“And I’d never forgive myself for that. I should have-”

he looks up “Why did you come to me last night then?”

the black haired tilts his head “Dae, you were the one who called me. I-I thought that you knew, that you-” sighs “You know what? This was a bad idea and I’m so sorry if I gave you mixed signals or if I hurted you. That was never my intention"

scoffs "Yeah okay. Whatever you say"

"Jongdae I'm truly sorry-"

"You are always sorry but **_I'm_ **always end up being the one who gets hurt the most"

"Fine, you wanna do this?" puts his cup on the counter "Wanna talk about who is the biggest jerk?" his voice was not loud but his tone was serious and rough "Cause I'd like to remind you that you _also_ cheated on me. How much was it? Two? Three times?"

clicks his tongue "That's not the same"

"Ah sure,sure. I'm an asshole but what about you, huh?"

"Mine was different. W-We were both drunk, she came looking for me"

chuckles "The three times? Wow you guys even had a roleplay"

"It 's different!"

"It's the exact same! We both hurt each other" 

"It's not the same" he repeated, more to himself than to the other.

"How is it different from what I did? Huh?!" silence "Tell me Jongdae, how?" but there's no answer, Minseok raised his voice "What happened? The cat took your tongue?? Come on, tell me" crosses his arms on his chest "How the fuck is it different?? HOW-"

"I DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH HER!" There was silence and it was kept for a while. Jongdae's eyes are placed on the almost full cup.

his tone was softer now "Dae…"

"I-I was just a horny dumbass and yeah, I cheated but that was it. Just sex. I never felt more for her" pauses "I don't even remember her name, but you- you fell in love with _him"_ Minseok opened his mouth but the younger kept speaking “Did you ever loved me?” he looks up, his eyes meeting the older’s “When we were together, did you-”

“Of course I did, you were- you are very special to me. I adore you with all my heart, I just-”

“It’s fine. I get it. I’m a dumbass for thinking that you would care about me”

he gets closer,squatting next to him “Hey, don’t say that. You know I care for you, God I love you with all my heart just… not in the way you want me to" licks his lip "If I could I'll force myself to fall for you but that wouldn't be fair for me and neither for you. You deserve someone who loves you and I'm sure you'll find that person" pauses "Look, we both fucked up big and we can't ever take back the things we did or say but we are still friends, right? You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you but I don't want you to hold on something that won't happen" he caresses the brunette's shoulder "I know it's all a little bit recent and it might look hard now but I'm sure someday you'll find someone who's crazy about you and you'll be crazy about them and you'll have that great love that you deserve" he smiles softly. 

Jongdae doesn't say a thing for a moment, the words feeling like punches on his chest. He bites the inside of his cheeks trying so hard to fight his tears. 

He can't see him crying no.

He takes a deep breath before speaking

"Yeah, I guess" his voice came out in almost a whisper "I'm sorry, I had some rough days. I fucked up things even more"

shakes his head "You didn't. But, seriously. I'm sorry that I gave you wrong ideas, I never wanted to-"

"It's okay" he looks at the man at his side, he smiles tiredly at him "Thank you for saying that" the other nods "I- I kinda want to be alone now"

"You sure? I can stay, we can-"

"No. Seriously. I have to finish a column also- I bet your... boyfriend is wondering where you are"

"Are you really sure? I-"

"Yeah" he puts on his best smile "We can catch up on another day" he lies.

"Okay then" the man stands up "I'll grab my things" the younger nods seeing the other disappear in his room.

He also stands up and sighs, pours the liquid from the cup into the sink and watches it slowly disappear on the drain.

From it being a lot to nothing.

How curious.

"You have my number right?" the voice brings him back.

"Yeah"

"Okay then" fixes his jacket. "You call me whenever you need me or want to" the other nods "Come here" the man said and before he could realize, he was being hugged by the arms that once made him feel safe but they were not his safe place anymore.

They were someone's else, he couldn't hold to them like he did before. He has to let go.

He patted the black haired's back a few times, luckily the hug didn't last long.

"You know, that I love you. Right?" Minseok said, he just nodded and smiled while opening the door.

"Drive safely!" he said and watched as his _ex_ lover's silhouette disappeared on the stairs.

Jongdae closes the door and lets out a deep sigh, his eyes on the cup that was still on the counter.

He also loves Minseok, he'll always love him.

And that's the problem.

-

> **< < ** **_Maybe one day I can see you_ **
> 
> **_We can smile and wave and it'll be okay_ **
> 
> **_Maybe one day it'll be cool_ **
> 
> **_We could just be friends without the complications that it brings >>_ **

**_-No Goodbyes, Dua Lipa._ **

  
  



End file.
